I Know Sports- Kinda

Football season is upon us and my nipples won’t be soft for the next 5 months. So to show you how smart I am here is what to expect this season.

AFC East:

  1. New England Patriots
  2. New York Jets
  3. Miami Dolphins
  4. Buffalo Bills

This is the easiest division by far. Tom Brady and Bill Belichick are like my right hand, no matter the situation it gets the job done. Usually not who we want to do the deed, but we can’t be mad at them because they always have good results (Well at least I can’t be mad at them). Hopefully Josh Allen takes over in Buffalo and we can have the battle of the Rookies.

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AFC North

  1. Pittsburgh Steelers
  2. Baltimore Ravens
  3. Cleveland Browns
  4. Cincinnati Bengals

Big Ben is the fat faced QB who won’t fall down and has Antonio Brown to throw up to. Let’s not forget that this is all based on Le’Veon Bell playing this year. Also JuJu is just fun to watch, unless it’s when he was at USC.

AFC South

  1. Jacksonville Jaguars
  2. Houston Texans
  3. Indianapolis Colts
  4. Tennessee Titans

Can you say D-Fucking-Fense. That is all… Also Andrew Luck’s mustache might win MVP for looking so fresh. I do have unreal high hopes for DeShaun Watson, but this is probably because he is on my fantasy team.

AFC West

  1. Denver Broncos
  2. San Diego LA Chargers
  3. Kansas City Cheifs
  4. Oakland Raiders

I will never lie to my lovely audience, so i’ll raise my hand and let you know that this is straight Denver Broncos bias. With that being said i’m not wrong. Easily the best defense, shut up Chargers you already lost half of your team and scorned all of your fans. KC you have the best team, but your QB, WR, RB is something I do not trust. Fuck the Raiders.

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NFC East

  1. Philadelphia Eagles
  2. Dallas Cowboys
  3. New York Giants
  4. Washington Redskin

Superbowl… need I say more. Zeke will be nice though.

NFC North

  1. Green Bay Packers
  2. Minnesota Viking
  3. Detroit Lions
  4. Chicago Bears

Aaron Rodgers with the second best mustache in the NFL will be Aaron Rodgers. Viking team is nasty and will make the playoffs even though they lose the NFC North to AA-Ron’s hail mary ass arm.

NFC South

  1. Atlanta Falcons
  2. Carolina Panthers
  3. New Orleans Saints
  4. Tampa Bay Bucs

To be fair this was a toss up and I don’t care.

NFC West

  1. LA Rams
  2. Arizona Cardinals
  3. San Francisco 49rs
  4. Seattle Seahawks

LA looks nice and daddy likes. Cardinals come in second because I like them more than the 49rs and Seahawks. Jimmy G will learn a lot this year and I see in the next two years the 49rs taking over this division or at least battling with the Rams.

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Now I know I didn’t give an in-depth analysis of every team, but if you want to be jerked around just go read ESPN or Bleacher Report.

Guys I love sports and I know you love me.

-Commish

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